30th birthday meltdown plus wish list

So if you have been regularly keeping up with my blog you will know that my 30th birthday is looming (less than 1 month to go) and I aint one bit happy about it! Birthdays have never bothered me before, in fact the thought of getting presents has always eclipsed the fact that I am getting older. However this year nothing can take my mind off the fact that I am getting old, something that I honestly never thought would bother me but instead has knocked my happy go lucky self for six!

I could not feel less like I'm about to turn 30 and I think that's what's got me in such a tail spin about the whole thing. When I look at people on the TV, who claim to be 30 I just can't see myself like that, I always think they look way older than me. I don't know if that's reality or if I've just convinced myself of that and in my minds eye I look a lot younger than I really do. A bit like that body dis-morphia thing. I still feel like I'm 18 and to me 30 is a fully fledged grown up, and I'm just not ready for that!

I was hoping to spend my 30th birthday in New York with my friend but unfortunately that fell through, which was probably for the best really as it would have meant that I wouldn't have got go have an amazing Disney adventure with the girls this summer.

To try and make the whole thing easier I have been thinking about the gifts I might like, seeing as I have decided I definitely do NOT want a party or to really celebrate in any way (something I will probably regret later on). I thought I would go for luxury items on my birthday wish list, on the off chance my hubby stumbles across this post and just happens to win the Lottery in the same week.

As you can see I've not held back, I've whizzed round Selfridges with my mental shopping basket and picked some beauts.

1. I've been longing for a designer handbag for as long as I can remember so of course I had to pop one on the list, I went for the Marc Jacobs Globtrotter Calaminty Mini Tote for £380. It is highly unlikely that I will get anything like this nor do I really expect anything like this but if a girl can't dream on her 30th when can she?!

2, 3 and 4. Obviously some amazing makeup products from the likes of MAC and NARS would be lovely, these I think may be possible as they aren't too expensive.

5. The Marc Jacobs Star woven friendship bracelet for £35, again not too expensive, I just love these types of bracelets at the moment I think they're so cute.

6. THE Michael Kors watch that I think every girl and her dog has been lusting after for the past year. It costs £259, which for a designer watch I don't think is too bad so again this may be in the realms of possibility.

7. Another unlikely splurge is the Alexandra McQueen Stainglass Skull silk-chiffon scarf for £295, I was eyeing these scarfs up in Liberty's when I was there with the hubby and he just couldn't get his head round the price of them so this is a very doubtful gift.

8. Finally no birthday wish list is complete without a little blue box.

Looking at all these beautiful things has taken my mind off the turning 30th a little so I guess I have achieved what I set out to do with this post and if I actually get anything off it then it'll be a nice little bonus.

A few months ago I put together a 30 before 30 list, if you want to check out my progress, I had to make some amendments after my trip to New York fell through but there still some good things on there :-)

If you've made it this far thanks for reading my ramblings and I'd love to hear from you if you're about to turn 30 or just turned? Got any advice for a melodramatic 29 year old?